Jay Audrey

Jay Audrey is a poet, a novelist, a survivor, and a lot of other things they haven't yet discovered but are constantly trying to. They earned a degree in Creative Writing from Columbia College and have no idea what that’s supposed to mean or show. Their work is about the connection between pain and joy, truth and trauma, self and other.

Five Facts My Father (You) Taught Me

one—I am abundant and do not need to change

(when I was 12 you began to tell me

I needed to watch my weight)

two—I am allowed to be exactly as I am

(when I was 15 you told me I

should just call my girlfriend a friend

so nobody at church would think of me

like that)

(you hoped they wouldn’t see your failure

when they looked at queer me)

three—I am safe and deserve to be safe

(when I was 17 you left)

four—I am fully and easily loved

(when I was 18 you told me

you loved me conditionally)

(when-I-was-18-you-told-me-

you-loved-me-conditionally)

five—I will be held softly and well by many

(when I was 21 you told me that

it felt like I had been stabbing you

as you carried me, but I cannot recall

you ever carrying me)

(I cannot recall you ever carrying me)